Everyone has an ideal image of themselves as well as the knowledge of the true characteristics which they display toward others in public and private life. Knowing the distinction is vital to the inner healing process.
Switching between the real and the ideal in relationships with others is highly destructive and destabilizing in the lives of others, particularly children who need consistency and a sense of order in their lives.
This pattern of alternating behaviors is crazy making, particularly for those in contact with such contradictory presentations. Trust can only be restored when one’s behaviors start to become consistent and predictable in a positive way.
Denial is often the primary pathway used by those who express themselves in contradictory behaviors. This is the ultimate breech in trust and will rapidly lead to the destruction of a relationship and the death of any expressed love interest.
Harboring secret behaviors, (drugs, gambling, prostitution, and pornography) becomes a burden to carry without impacting those who live just outside of your secret world.
If you feel that you cannot abandon the offensive behavior on your own, talk with someone and get some help now. Do not put it off as the pull of the secret life will just continue to grow if it is not extinguished now.
A great way to determine the presence of a personal mask and/or secret lives is to just ask yourself the question, would I be doing this in the presence of God, my spouse, my children, my family members?
Masks and secret lives dominate the landscape of modern life. As you start to pull off your own mask and resist the strong tugs of hidden activities you will be surprised at how pervasive this problem is in lives of those we know.